Ever since Neil Strauss published The Game, guys have been obsessed with “opening” (i.e. approaching) women. They started running around bars, streets and shopping malls, approaching as many women as they could find the courage for and then bragging about it to their wingmen. Some guys will “open” 10, 15 or even 20 women in a single night.
When a guy brags about how many women he approached, I take it to mean that he doesn’t actually know how to talk to them. If he approached a dozen or more girls in a single outing, what kind of interaction do you suppose he had with any of them? Chances are that he either got blown out shortly after striking up conversation or got too scared to lead the interaction past the initial small talk and ran off.
A guy who actually knows how to talk to a woman will not need to approach a dozen of them in a single outing. Instead, he will find one or two, engage her in conversation, build attraction and establish a connection. By the end of the interaction, he will either leave with the girl or leave her wanting more. It is the difference between a sniper and a blind man with a machine gun. A sniper will get the kill without collateral damage while the blind man with a machine gun will shoot up the place and still miss the target.
So next time you decide to meet some women, instead of running around and annoying a whole bunch of them, focus on creating quality interactions instead. Try to get to know her, build a connection and take the interaction where you are normally too scared to take it. One interaction seen through to the end is going to do more for your personal development than a dozen insubstantial interactions that don’t go anywhere.