When it comes to dating and trying to find a relationship, I think we can often place our ‘life’ and ‘dating life’ into two separate categories. What’s so important to recognise though, is that the quality of your relationships and the ones you attract are usually a direct result of what’s going on behind the scenes of your lifestyle. And when it comes to dating or finding a fulfilling relationship, you want to be in a position where you have choice. Where you are connecting with a variety of women so that you’re not settling for the first one who shows interest just because you don’t have much else going on.
So, here are 6 ways that you can ‘upgrade’ your lifestyle to attract better relationships. And by the way, this applies to all types of relationships be it friendships, work, social and so on. And don’t be misled by the word upgrade either! It’s definitely not about throwing cash at the situation.
1) Be interesting. So get interested
Women are attracted to interesting men. It doesn’t really matter what this is (as long as it isn’t anything weird or creepy!), but men who show passion or at least a keen interest for something are incredibly magnetic. To be interesting though, you need to get interested. Be curious. Start spending more time on the things that make you tick. Instead of coming home from work and watching the same TV shows all evening (which doesn’t make for great social/dating conversations), start indulging in the things that you are interested in and explore them more. Or try new things. Depending on what these are – a type of sport for example, it could also lead to meeting more people socially and extending your social circle.
Part of upgrading is all about consistently learning and educating yourself. It keeps your brain engaged and gives you things to talk about!
2) Take care of your health
Ok, this isn’t about going to extremes and turning to whatever health trend is creating a buzz at the moment. It’s simply just being aware of eating well, exercising and getting enough sleep. You can take it bit by bit but commit to making a start. When you take proactive care of your health it makes you mentally stronger, you look better and have more energy. All of this equates to upping your attraction. Women are attracted to men who take pride in their health and wellbeing. All people are. If you’re lazy when it comes to your health this will be to the detriment of everything else in your life.
3) Take pride in your environment
Like the people you spend time around, the state of your environment is usually a reflection of what’s going on in your life as a whole. So spend some time reassessing what your living space needs work on. If you want to attract a great relationship, your home needs to be ready for that too! The main thing that women are instantly put off by is uncleanliness, so put into place a weekly cleaning routine. A few other checkpoints could be de-cluttering, having the core kitchen and bathroom essentials, looking at your decor and creating some focal points of interest that reflect your personality and interests. Ultimately, you want your home to show that you are a guy who has his s**t together. And it’s not about investing money in completely redecorating. Just a few tweaks, readjustments and economical additions will make a huge difference!
4) Always be pushing yourself out of your comfort zone
Nobody can grow if they stay the same. One of the biggest ways to upgrade your lifestyle is to constantly push yourself out of your comfort zone and try new things. You’ll be amazed at how much you learn, evolve and grow in confidence when you do this. Those things that you are most fearful to do are exactly the things you should be pushing yourself bit by bit to do. The reason for this, is that these fears are likely the things that at your core, you want to be doing but are too scared to do or are talking yourself out of. And allow yourself to make mistakes as that’s fine. It keeps you on your toes and learning! Plus when it comes to women, we like men who push themselves. They’re inspiring and that’s attractive.
5) Look at who you’re spending time with
We can’t be completely choosy about all the people we spend time around, but the ones we can, it’s good to be a bit selective. This isn’t about ditching all your friends but it’s about trying to shape your social life so that you’re mixing with a variety of people who keep you interested and interesting as in my first point, make you feel good, inspire and motivate you, who you can have fun with and who make you want to be a great person to be around. You want to be the guy who people want to spend time with! If you constantly socialise with the same people, look at how you can begin to interact with new people. And if you spend too much time alone, it’s time to start getting a bit more social because too much time in isolation is suppressing.
6) Do the inner work
Without going too woo-woo, the absolute biggest lifestyle upgrade you can look to implement starts with your opinion of yourself. To have great relationships in all areas, you have to believe that you are worthy of them. So that relationship with yourself is the primary one to be working on. And to be worthy of fulfilling and healthy relationships, you have to value others too. Also, when it comes to attraction, women are instantly drawn to men who value themselves. Who have opinions (without being overbearingly opinionated!) and who place importance on their own standards and goals. So spend some time really analysing and figuring out what these are. And then how you can make sure that what you do and why you do it is always aligned to these.
The 6 things I’ve explored will ultimately change and impact how you value and treat yourself, which in turn, will lead to attracting better relationships in all areas of your life. So have a think about how you can start to put each one into place – and commit to making a start!
Hope you enjoyed the article. If you’d like to hear more from Laura, you can check her out on the MDM Podcast where we talk about dealing with break-ups (Laura’s specialty). Or visit her website (links and bio below). Alec.
Bio: Laura Yates is a relationship and dating coach specializing in helping guys through break-ups and heartbreak.